Winter, again.

Looking out the window, I see rain falling now. The beginning of the 3rd winter this winter. In a couple of hours, the rain will have ceased being rain and started falling as snow instead. Frosty downpour, as you call it. It will shelter me, at least for tonight, and I will light candles and play tribal music as we do when we welcome spirits–and when we ask them to leave us again.

The spirits of winter have a difficult time letting go this term. Really, though, it’s just us who have forgotten how long they used to reign in our bodies and minds, our societies and nature. All these small breaks from them, they confuse us. We don’t know what to expect, and we’re frightened when even the world plays with its cards close to its chest.

We’re used to other people trying not to let us know what is on their minds, just as we keep things for ourselves. But as frustrating as that is, it’s what we use to separate us from other beings and objects. We have a mind of our own that no one can truly know. We’re more than mere causation.

But what happens when nature starts breaking down these barriers? When the winter spirits no longer act according to the rules once established? We prepare for the depression, the darkness, the cold, but always in expectation of the summer ahead. We prepare for problems, because we know things will move easier once we get through to the other side.

Where is the other side? Where is the other side that we should have reached by now? We’re still stuck here, in our own minds, our own hearts–if we can even call them that.

My young heart
Chose to believe
We were destined.
Young hearts
All need love,
Call it a lesson

(The xx: “On Hold”) They say rain is a sign of rebirth. Now, I don’t know anything about that, but I can’t help but wonder if maybe I can wash the winter off me if I go outside now.

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