Heart break.

I’m not trying to hurt you. I care too much. My words aren’t meant to offend you or make you even more sad than you already are. I just don’t know how to handle this any more than you do. You know my go-to approach is to look for solutions or ways to gain something from even the shittiest of situations. What I said about you needing to be less dependent on other people wasn’t something I said to get rid of you. That’s not what I meant. All I want for you is to get better. But I do think it’s important for you to need other people less. I’ve had this thought for a couple of years, and I’m sure I’ve told you before. You haven’t really been alone for the past 7 years. You have always had a boyfriend who could be there for you whenever you felt sad, and me if none of them was around. And now, for the first time in a long time, you’re really on your own. I know it hurts. I know it’s tearing you apart. And I try to help you keep yourself together. But I won’t guide you through this. Because I can’t. And because you need to figure this out for yourself. This is your chance to really grow, to become self-dependent. This is your time to find out who you are as a person by yourself, and not as a person in a relationship. I know you’re sad. I know. And I know you’ll probably say that I don’t know what I’m talking about. That I’ve never been in a situation close to what you’re going through. I don’t claim otherwise. I don’t claim to know how you feel; what you’re feeling. You’re the only one who’s ever made me truly sad. And that sadness was about as self-inflicted as can be. So no, I don’t claim to have any knowledge about the pain you’re feeling. Your emotions have always seemed a far off country to me. But I do know that there are a number of approaches one can take when facing difficult situations. I hope you choose to finally take a step back and just live, figure out who you are. Learn how strong you, as yourself, can be. Let the Earth run a lap where you give your heart a break. I know I could need a year off. I can’t even start to imagine how much good it would do you.

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