I was not alone.

It’s always like wanting into some great fairytale the first time you listen to a new Björk album. Right now is the very first time I’m listening to Vulnicura. It sounds impressively effortless compared to Biophilia, and album I do like, but can’t stand to listen to too often. It demands too much of you as a listener. A feat that is sometimes one of the strengths on an album (eg. Loveless, Shaking the Habitual, Kill For Love), but on Biophilia it just translates to weariness, at least for me. Thinking about this I realize it might come down to whether or not I truly love an artist through-and-through or just love some aspects of the artist. With Björk it’s certainly true that I love the more quiet, symphonic periods of her records, whereas I find it hard to sit through the more pumped-up tracks and tracks where she stuffs the soundscapes with texture. I prefer Björk with a bit of air around her. It probably comes as no surprise then that my favorite Björk album is her collaboration with Dirty Projectors, Mount Wittenberg Orca. Very few things in the world beat that album.

I’m going to see Waxahatchee tomorrow. I’m quite excited. I’ve given her music a few spins, and it sounds pretty good. But the kicker is the person I’ve talked into going with me. As with everything else in life, I’m uncertain, but we’ve had an ongoing flirt for quite some time now, and this time it will be just the two of us for only the second time ever. I don’t know whether or not I think something is going to happen; knowing myself I would have to say no. But I do think I want things to happen. She’s extremely sweet, very funny. We get along really well. There’s something about her smile, they way it forms in all her features, that has always spoken to me. As so often it was when she cut her hair short, near the end of high school, that I first fell for her. I don’t know. I’d always seen her as a good friend, but that just showed me something else. She had always been pretty, but she suddenly became beautiful. And yes, I strive for beauty. That’s what gets me up in the morning: hoping to see something beautiful; people; nature; art. A few months ago I sat behind her at a Teitur concert. It was horrible. She had a backless dress on, and her back was – in that moment, with those tones in my ears – the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. I think I glanced up at Teitur once or twice, despite sitting on 3rd row. Most of the time I was just sneaking glances at her back. I just get caught.

But this time it’s just her and I.

It’s weird. I always fall for crazy people. People I know I won’t be able to live a life with. Because they’re too energetic and I’m not, too full of problems while I have none, or at least pretend not to, too different, too alike, too shy. But this girl. She’s just.. normal. She’s perfectly normal, and I’m no longer terrified by that. I’ve always liked the uncertainty in the crazy ones: knowing that it would be doomed from the start. I’m so bad with commitment, that it makes everything easier if I know from the off that it won’t last long. If I start something with this girl, whose to say how long it can last? I think we would be great together. We’re always learning each other things, both because we want the other person to understand what we’re talking about, and also because we want to learn. I usually have a problem with thinking as highly of other persons as I think of myself, but not with her. We’re different in lots of ways, but morally we’re the same, which is the most important for me. That’s the point where I usually take a bad attitude to people, if I find them morally inferior. And this world is a moral sinkhole.

Just to come back to Vulnicura. This must be the best solo Björk album for quite some time. There are still a few much-demanding moments, but they’re less straining than on Biophilia. I saw her at Roskilde in 2012, which was a great week, and a week that has since shaped my life indefinitely, and this album reminds me of that concert. Hah, have I ever written that I usually fall in love with at least one person at every concert? Closing my eyes I just saw the girl I fell for during the Björk concert. So, so very beautiful, she was standing with her father. It had been a rainy day, and she was wearing a full yellow rain suit even though the rain had stopped. She had brown hair, chestnut or something like that, and you couldn’t quite place her origins. Definitely Danish, but with something else mixed in as well. Maybe Spanish. I’m hopeless.

Waxahatchee, here I come.

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