Figured I’d just write one last blog post before I move away from Copenhagen. Not saying this is definitely the last one, might write one Monday evening before my final departure on Tuesday, but since my mind will probably be filled up with “have I remembered everything? is there something that needs to be in a box but is not? what do I actually HAVE in that cabinet at the WC?” I thought what better way to make sure I make that last Copenhagen-blog post than by making it straight away?
Copenhagen has been many things for me. When we came here, we were the best of friends and did everything together. Over summer that changed. We drifted apart and problems started coming up. During autumn it became all too clear that something just wasn’t right and the problems occurred more frequently. Once we hit December you ended it: I had to move out. Can’t say I hadn’t seen it coming, but I’m one for always believing problems will sort themselves out. So one of the things Copenhagen has been, has been the slow demise of a great friendship.
Copenhagen has meant a great many other things to me, though. This summer was one of the best summers of my life. I can’t recall having been so active for so long, going out almost everyday, spending time with people instead of books or games, listening to music in concerts every week instead of just being at home with my CDs and Vinyls. I rode my bike a lot, and god knows I love to ride my bike. I had a short but extremely powerful fling with an old flame. I count that as one of the best 24-hour periods of my life. But I’m getting ahead of myself now: that wasn’t in Copenhagen, that was in Silkeborg. But I do think the freedom of having moved away from home had some say in that. Now I’m moving back – at least for a short while.
Copenhagen has meant meeting new people – and revisiting old friendships. So many of my childhood friends live here now, that it’s almost like taking a stroll down memory lane. It’s funny to think of the faces you have seen, however shortly, during a period. I don’t know if I have a particularly great recollection of faces, but I can see every person I’ve talked with in front of me. And even some I never found the courage to ask a question. But this is also when I realize how bad I am at meeting people on my own. The Swiss girls are the only one’s I’ve gotten to know on my own doing. This is an area I need to keep working on. I would like to have a little more courage in conversation; in starting conversation. I guess I’m just afraid of letting go of the security of being an introvert.
Copenhagen has shown me that it’s not all that difficult to get by on your own. I don’t have a problem living on scarce resources, which I thought I’d have. I’ve managed quite alright. It’s all just a matter of prioritizing. I’ve learned to buy my books secondhand. I’ve learned how to make food taste great without a great many ingredients. I’ve learned how to entertain myself with my guitar, instead of feeling like I constantly have to buy new music. It has certainly helped as well that my record player never got up and running in this apartment, but still sits firmly in its box. That has saved me a bit of cash. I’ve learned to buy fewer, but better clothes: I’m extremely into band t-shirts these days. I can’t seem to go to a concert without buying one from the band. I’ve generally learned to live better.
Copenhagen has taught me a lot about myself, which has been discussed at length through the last year’s worth of blog posts. The most important lesson has probably been to try to take care of my feelings. I don’t rush into love like I used to. I’ve been able to firmly create the crush-field. Normally I would skip that part and just go all-in on loving the person. I see that it hasn’t done me much good in the past, and I am trying a new approach. Too early to say if it’s working or not. At least I don’t cry myself to sleep over some girl who doesn’t love me. Though I did shed a tear because of You the other day. But come on, I always feel a few tears forming whenever I really, really think about You.
I guess most of the things I’ve learned about myself are things I am still in the process of learning. I am starting to think things through in a more detailed way. I don’t feel as content with just going along as I’ve done all my life. I feel like it’s time that I make some choices that are inherently mine. With this comes responsibility, but I finally feel ready to take on the world.
So come on!
Jeg er stærk
— stærk som en løve!
Selvom jeg ikke ved,
hvor stærk en løve er.
Jeg har aldrig været oppe at slås
med en løve.
Jeg har kun set løver på Animal Planet
og i Zoo.
Løverne i Zoo så godt nok ikke særligt stærke ud.
Det lå bare
og lod dagen gå
mens vi gik videre til andre dyr
der så stærkere ud.
Men det lyder nu meget godt: stærk som en løve!
Så det vil jeg være i dag.