Visions of C.

I shouldn’t post anything today. I’ve had too many impressions on an otherwise slow Thursday. I’m through with my exams and I can finally enjoy a few days off before the next semester starts. I had planned to just hide from the world. Not talk to anyone but a few loose conversations here and there mostly talking to Kerouac or being talked to by Kerouac whatever way it goes. And it started out so well, I really got into Visions of Cody when I received a text last night asking me if you shouldn’t match me with this short-haired girl? And I, as I always do, hesitated. She was very pretty, but the timing wasn’t right (it never is right, that’s my problem: there is no such thing as right timing, or if there is I haven’t found it – and I am one of those who’ve been looking for that right timing since I learned there ever was or could be or should be or someone-had-experienced such a thing). Nevertheless it was night and I was tired and intrigued and unable as always to say no when confronted with beauty, and so overpowered (luckily) despite my hesitation and made to promise to send said girl a message in the morning when I wasn’t quite as near extinction-by-lack-of-sleep. I send her a message, she answers, and asks me to tell her something about myself. I tell her about myself, about my love for words, how I always seem to have a hard time finding them when having to describe myself, while figuring out some way to give her more words about myself than I have written in like introductions the last decade, telling her even about the gap between my front teeth, thinking in great inspiration and association coming from birthday to cake to food to teeth and finally the luck that goes with gap-between-front-teeth, and thinking I actually end up doing a good job of presenting myself. Next thing I know I receive a message from friend who made us a match saying there was nothing in common except girl and I both liked her with short hair. And I’m bummed. Not because I had fallen for her. How can I fall for her through one message? That has only happened once in my life. But because I finally went against own better judgment and said to hell with timing, what is timing if the girl is gone by the time the time is right? Yeah. So I was bummed. For ten minutes – until girl answered me, more cheerily than I expected; expecting a let-down this-is-not-going-to-work message. Instead a keep-on-talking message, no sign of not wanting to talk. And that’s what my day has consisted of ever since. Talking to the girl, C. Even when she said she was going to work and couldn’t talk, she kept on talking at work and kept asking me questions. And only now the conversation ended after she managed to lock herself out of her apartment, the phone on the inside, and she now at her mom’s place, borrowing mom’s computer to explain her lack of words last half hour, and talking until mom wanted computer back, and she had to say goodbye, and told me she would be able to get back into her apartment and her phone around 10 am. So that’s why I shouldn’t post anything today. Because nothing and everything has happened. And these are the kinds of days that my head can go in all directions, and I should stop it and just get back to my frantic conversation with Kerouac, but can’t now my head is filled with all these other thoughts – that in all righteousness I shouldn’t be having after a day, but she seems to like talking to me, and I like talking to her, and the music has sounded a bit sweeter all day long.


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