Midweek Meltdown.

I’ve been in my underwear the entire day. I’ve only eaten knækbrød, rugbrød and crackers. Cheese on all of it. I took a shower well into the afternoon. I’ve done my workout. I’ve lost two games of wordfeud. And I’ve prepared myself for 3 of the possible questions for the exam on Friday.

I don’t know whether to call this a productive day or not. I feel like it’s pretty wasted. It’s almost been January 1st all over again. A day made for nothing. A day all agree to tear out of the calendar. It has felt like that. But really, I’ve done the work that I set myself up to do. Those 3 questions.

The day has been wasted, definitely. I could have gotten so much more out of it. But it hasn’t been unproductive. I started watching Looking yesterday. And finished the first season and the first episode of the new season yesterday (as well). So that was productive, huh. Really good series, though. This has just been a take-it-all-in day. I’ve been thinking a lot about myself after watching that show.

Maybe that’s why I’ve just been in my underwear all day. I’ll just quickly stress this: This is not what I usually do. I usually wear clothes. I haven’t been able to find anything to wear that would really… fit. Me, today. Something. Wow this post has a hopeless future. And past, and present.

What I mean is that I couldn’t really relate to anything today. Or maybe I feel related to too many things at once and just can’t decide between the contradicting ones.

There are no contradictions in underwear.

I’m still not back to writing as much as I want. Or, that’s not true. Lately I’ve just been channeling my words to the blog instead of into poems. It’s probably just because of the exams. I don’t quite recall January from last year all that well, but I don’t think I wrote much of anything. I wrote about Ida, of course, but I think that was more late-December/early-January. Definitely not this far in, I can’t imagine that. I was still thinking about her, but not writing.

Thinking about what I want to “represent”. What kind of person am I? I should really read my own blog more often. You’d think it would give me an idea of who I am.

I’m peace. I’m quiet. I’m poetry. I’m romance. I’m solitude. I’m equality. I’m tired.

I miss you and I’m tired.


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