Back in Copenhagen. Back home with all the thoughts of where to move, how to get my study on, where to get my food today. I’ve had a very privileged holiday with my family. It’s always nice coming back, being treated extremely well because your parents have missed you, and you have missed them. It takes away the pressure from the outside world for a couple of days, and you can just relax.
But now I’m back. Back with the seriousness of having an exam on Wednesday. Back with the pressure of finding a new apartment to move into in a month or two. Back with a roommate who has some kind of problem with me that I just don’t understand.
The most telling thing probably is, that I’m calling her my roommate instead of my friend. We’re not friends anymore, I don’t think so. At least she doesn’t act around me as if we are. She’s so quiet – answers in yes’s or no’s whenever I ask her something. Never gets more elaborate than “good”. How was Christmas? Good. How was New Years Eve? Good. Did you do something fun? Yes. What? The usual.
Now, I’m not much of a talker myself, but this is an extreme case. I don’t know what has happened. I don’t know why she’s acting this way, and she won’t tell me. My best bet is that she has lost her trust in me, but I really can’t see why. I’ve done nothing but tried to be a good friend and a good roommate. Yes, I’ve gradually stopped asking her if she wanted to come along to events, because she spent the entire summer saying no whenever I asked her. But I still ask her how her day has been, I ask her if I can bring her something whenever I go grocery shopping. I try to strike up conversation. I say hi, bye, good morning, goodnight. This morning she stayed in her room while I was eating breakfast, then I went into the shower and she must have been storming out to get things done, ’cause she was leaving the apartment by the time I got out of the shower.
I don’t know what’s going on. But at least this is starting to make me feel better about having to find a new place. If this is how she’s going to act, then this really isn’t a place I want to live. I mean, she doesn’t even look at me. That’s the one thing I really need from people, to have eye contact. Just once in a while, look me in the eyes. If she can’t do that, then I better get out.
The only thing she asked me about yesterday, the day I came home, was if I had found a date I would be moving out. I think that says it all. And she barely looked me in the eye whilst asking.
So now I’m back – and soon back won’t mean this place.
I will have to be more careful picking my roommates from now on.