Right now.

The way out
seems like a way out
of here but
into another problem
not much better
if any better at
all

We’ve got to save
the children by not
making them
right now

Ballpark’s empty again
like it was yesterday
like it was last year
every day
and we can’t do
nothing about it
except fill it with
emptiness

‘Cause we’ve got to save
the children by not
making them
right now

Blow your whistle
like tomorrow’s all
that matters to you
like tomorrow depends
on your whistling
on your whistle
like today isn’t even
here

We’ve got to save
the children by not
making them
right now

I cannot stand to look
you in your eyes
wanting more than
you could ever give me
wanting more than
this world entitles me to
wanting you in Greece
wanting you in France
wanting you in Peace
wanting you in Trance

‘Cause we’ve got to save
the children by not
making them
right now

There’s a revolution boiling
but it does not
include you or me
didn’t you hear
what they said:
she’s brave
but she cries
she’s force
but for her lies

We’ve got to save
the children by not
making them
right now

We’ve got to save
the children by not
making them
right now

We’ve got to save
the children by not
making them
right now

I’m very relaxed at the moment. The weeks just seem to roll along. Unlike every other educational institution (well, this IS supposed to be a university, not an educational institution, according to my oldest professor) I’ve been at, time just flies by. In the best way possible. It’s not because I don’t have time to read the things I have to, or write my assignments (as can be seen, I have plenty of time for procrastination as well). Time just moves really fast, and I’m flowing on right along.

I always fare well when I’m forced into finding new friends. This group, as I’ve talked about, just fits me. I even convinced them to go see some jazz earlier this week, and they really liked it. It’s on again on Monday; I think I can get one or two to come with me again, if not more of them.

I think I’m getting a hold of my emotions. It’s always my main problem in groups. I fall in love so easily. And she ticks all my boxes. But it’s silly. And I can’t get hung up on that stuff. I want to be her friend, and I think I’m finally convincing inner-me that that is the real goal. So far it’s going really well. And I think it will only get better.

I’ve encountered one of my recurring problems: actor-me has always liked to find roles to play. The thing is; back when it started, I did it on purpose and chose who I wanted to imitate (the Bob Dylan-portrays in I’m Not There during my sophomore year in High School). But as the years have gone by, it’s become more of a subconscious thing. I don’t choose who I want to imitate no longer; it just happens when I find someone I find interesting to imitate. And it has happened with one of the guys in the group. Good thing is I’ve noticed it, so I can hopefully stop it. I don’t know, it’s probably not an end-of-the-world kind of thing, but I just believe it’s about time I start learning to be me – or at least about time I stop imitating the people around me. Back to imitating people from movies or books if it’s absolutely necessary I imitate someone.

I hope you didn’t
delete my number

I still think you’re
quite the wonder

I see the problem
you seem to see

I see a solution
is needed from me

And that’s about all I can write about that, because it really saddens me. I’m sorry I haven’t been all that attentive, but my life has finally had wanted daily social input for the first time in 3-4 years. I have yet to get reacquainted with planning my time/finding time to things beside myself and the people just around me. I hope we can just have a period without talking, like we’ve had many times before, and when I’m back on top of things, you’re still there, and I can be there for you again. I want to be there, but it’s not good enough for me, when I know I can’t be there as much as I want to. I’ll be there in the near future if you want me, I just can’t be there right now.

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