Serious me.

I’ve been feeling very grown-up today. Or, perhaps responsible is a better term. Feeling like I knew what to do to improve my writing, and wanting to do it. It’s as if it is finally dawning on me that I start studying philosophy next month, and I only have about half a month to go if I want to really get into it before I suddenly have all these new things on my plate.

Hopefully philosophy will allow me to keep on writing a lot, and interesting stuff at that. I’m – dare I say it? – really looking forward to finally doing something again. Something I’VE chosen just for me. Honestly, people have reacted more with wonder than excitement when I told them about my plans of studying philosophy. To them, there are many things in this world that I should tend to before even thinking about philosophy. That’s what you get when you get thrown into a different family  through divorce, I guess.

Currently reading Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations. I never knew he was such a witty writer. I mean, having read Mister Pip, by Lloyd Jones, a dozen times, I had an idea of what to expect. But it really exceeds those expectations, and I believe Charles Dickens will be a very good influence on me.

I have always felt like I was born to write. I just need to become a better storyteller, but finally I’m starting to take in advice, instead of just being a stubborn kid, thinking I know the right way right from the start. I don’t know if I will ever find myself actively asking anyone for advice or help, but seeking some tips online is certainly an improvement, even if they haven’t enlightened me all that much in the what-to-do department. At least I could feel a stir in my fingers while reading through them. That’s good. That means this is what I want. And I just have to keep at it.

I’m still mostly a writer of poetry. The short form is very appealing to me (the whole need-to-become-a-better-storyteller). But also longer poems now, stories instead of just 8 great lines and out. There’s even some rhythm, and I do think I’m actually starting to find my own voice, which I don’t think I’ve ever really been looking for, but now just notice is there.

I’m increasingly happy I’ve kept most of my writings over the last 5-6 years. It helps me see how far I’ve really come. Of course, it’s a bit sad when you notice how much subpar writing you did back then, which you thought was good at the time. But I didn’t read much just a few years ago. I didn’t have anything to compare my writing to, like I do now. There’s still some way to go, I do realize that. But at least now I’m on my way. At least now I’m taking it seriously. And I’m no longer afraid of writing in Danish, when after all that is the language that gives me the best poetry. I think, if I’m ever going to write a novel, it will have to be in English. Danish just doesn’t interest me for longer periods. But things change. In a few years, who knows, I might write my poetry in English and my novels in Danish.

I’ve been thinking about getting another outlet for my thoughts. Maybe a new blog, dedicated to something – that could be writing, setting goals for myself, posting a new work every week. Or a tumblr, just casually dumping new burdens on to the internet whenever I feel like it. Just did become a tumblr user, actually. Joined a couple of friends’ blog where they post music. But, yeah.. it doesn’t really do me much good. The aim with it is just… posting music, and maybe writing a few words with the music if you feel like it. I love them and all, but this idea seems to be more for themselves than for the blogosphere.

No hate intended, of course. My blog is mostly for myself, just a means of putting my own thoughts into writing, and keeping my English more or less sharp. I just thought there was a bit more to their music-blog project than what it turned out to be. But it’s cool, it’s not like I have to dedicate more than a few minutes to it everyday. And hey, we do put up some sweet tunes. Maybe that’s just the aim, to make sure we’re all updated on what new music we find. We are suddenly spread across the country, and soon world, after all.

Well, I think it’s time to wrap it up for tonight. My eyes are getting weary, and I really want to indulge myself in Julia Holter’s Tragedy, which is already two tracks in. Going to listen to Loud City Song tomorrow. Man, I wish her European tour would have taken her by Denmark again this year. She was amazing at Roskilde last year. In the morning. That says a lot.

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