Such a strange period, suddenly all things are moving in one direction or the other.
Normally I don’t feel too much change in my life, but now it seems like all things can happen, and in pretty much any direction they so desire. Some parts of my life, be it relationships or my computer, seem to be falling apart. I don’t know what I can do, really, to take care of this, make things better. Maybe it’s just nature’s way. Maybe things that were meant to happen are just happening. I don’t know. I tend to believe in the Universe and in things happening when they are due. The easiest subject, by far, is the case of my extremely-difficult-to-boot laptop. I’m a person of great patience, especially when it comes to electronics, but my oh my, this is testing my limits.
I don’t know what I would do without italy disco in my life. Which is such a weird thing to say, because I didn’t know about italy disco till about 1½-2 years ago. Now, it seems like Johnny Jewel is such an integral part of my life, I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t put on some Chromatics, Glass Candy, Desire, what have you, when I’m in a mood where I just need to sit back and relax my mind with some turn-the-lights-off tunes.
Maybe I should just make the mix-cd present I’ve been thinking about for the past 2 years, and had finally just about finalized when my computer went berserk and deleted it all, into a tour de force through my own experiences in italy disco so far. I don’t know if she would like that, but I’d hope so. Would be a nice thing to share.
A lot of other things are going extremely well. I’m feeling super-social these days. Talked to some old friends I hadn’t seen in a while the other day, and later got up to a game of basketball even though my main-man who introduced me to the others isn’t around these parts anymore. I don’t think me-of-last-year would have done that, so that’s certainly an improvement. I love playing basketball with those guys, and now hopefully I can truly begin to befriend them. They’re really down-to-Earth people, my type.
Also, as she joked – I have a tendency of hanging around whatever store another friend works in. She used to work in a music store, so it really wasn’t surprising that I hung around there a lot. But I’ve noticed I’ve been there a lot less after she quit. Now she works in a clothes store and I always find myself going through there to see if she’s in, which I wouldn’t normally do in a clothes store. I don’t know what it is, or well, I do, but it just isn’t like that anymore, I don’t think. I think she’s just become a truly great friend, someone I really feel like I won’t ever tire of, which is so rare for me. She lives quite some transportation-time away from me, but she invited me to come home to her sometime during the Summer, and I might just do that. Been there once and it was complete heaven, so I can only imagine that it’s just what I need.
It seems people are leaving, well duh it’s Summer, but still. One’s going to California, another to Canada, a third to Berlin. Makes you really realize that this year you aren’t going anywhere. Man, some of those days are going to feel a bit lonely for new-social me, I think. (More like I hope. Would be nice to feel lonely, just to know I now like company.)
I guess this would be as good a time as ever to get on my bike and just take a long, long ride somewhere, anywhere. Make sure I have food for the trip and just go. I’ve always dreamed of just going. Just going where the wind would take me. I guess I could do that when people are on vacation, have my own little vacation. Actually talked about this with an old friend of mine who’s coming back home sometime during the Summer. I don’t know when, but it seems it will probably be just about the time I have in mind. That should be fun.
Going to the cinema tomorrow with my sister, and then taking her back home. That will be good, I miss her. Last time we were both here was… wow, some time before Roskilde. I hope she’s up for a game of minigolf. It’s been a while, and I desperately need a revenge. My brother is coming home next week. Says he will join me at the basketball court. I’m equally excited and terrified of the outcome of that. He’s just such a show-off whenever things go well for him. It’s extremely funny, but at the same time I just don’t want to be the-guy-with-the-brother.
I’m going to ask one of the old friends I talked to recently to come play as well. I really miss her company, and well, since we used to have PE in high school together, it seems like a logical way of getting to hang around her again. It was really good talking to her, and I’m really irritated that I didn’t take more initiative to spend more time with her back then. We always clicked. She’s one of the first persons I remember from the first days of high school. How we started a fierce (but friendly) rivalry in PE from the first day and never ended it. I really hope she wants to come play.
The things you left behind,
old and dusty,
creaky and rusty,
now haunts your mind.
Dreams of days long gone –
tell me you don’t ache,
that those days you didn’t wake
to a brighter Sun.
The here-and-now is pretty great, but I miss what now seems like the simple joys of past times. I guess that’s my biggest problem with mind, how different things seem depending on whether you think of them as future, present or past. What now seems like the smallest obstacles could be anticipated as world-ending experiences, where I to fail them. In reality they were hard, but not of killer-kind. Three times, three very different ways of looking at the same obstacle. If the mind would just stay objective at all times, things would be so much easier – I think. Maybe it would be harder, since things wouldn’t seem so non-challenging when looking back – whatever you were trying to compare something to would show a rather exact measure of the challenge presented.
Yeah, I can spend a lot of time thinking about what my mind does, and what I’d rather it did/n’t.
Just realized, I’ve been spending just about an hour on this. Just over 1000 words. That was always the proportion I was looking to stay to in high school, to know I was spending the right amount of time on my writing assignments. 1000 words/hour.
And now I’m really not on any kind of subject anymore, which I guess is an indication that I should stop.