Twooneeight, in Symmetry.

I’m crushing hard on anything Johnny Jewel at the moment.

I love what he does with sounds. Many people would probably say he creates images. I’m sure he does, I’ve just never been that great at getting images out of music, or books for that matter. But I love his sounds. How he can create the darkest places I know of, and then lighten them up – making me feel like that was supposed to happen all along, though I had no hope of it just a few seconds earlier. He just.. he feels the music, and it seems like he feels what the listener is thinking all along, much more than most other musicians, which enables him to go in the right directions at any time, while still being more than capable of surprising.

He’s perfect for nights like this. When my rhythm is on some other planet and I never sleep. Because I can’t take more sleeping. Because I’ve been sleeping all my life.

I’m perfect on nights like this. This is when my mind gets going, and I can finally get myself to do all the things I have only thought of doing during the day. Writing some poetry for myself, trying to teach myself how to play guitar, reading, answering the girl, and not taking care of my cellphone that ran out of power a couple of hours ago. Though I absolutely have to power it up tomorrow when I wake up. Expecting a text from Adrian.

Expectations, they’ve always killed me, and only more so when I stopped having them.

Twooneeight is what WordPress offered to call my post before I could come up with a name, well, 218. But it kinda sounds like a party way of saying ‘tonight’, so that’ll do.

One of these days I will absolutely have to post the first picture to this blog. I still can’t figure out why I haven’t done it yet, except, obviously, for that one time where I just couldn’t get the picture uploader to work. That was one of my weaker moments, I realize.

We always have to go, I realize.
Always have to say goodbye.
Always have to go back to real lives.
But real lives are the reason why
we want to live another life.
We want to feel another time.

Another time.

(The Cure, Out of This World) Just popped into my head. Such a great song from such an underrated album. Still can’t believe I saw The Cure at Roskilde this year. That was a dream come true, as has happened quite often for me over the last years. Finally living part of the dream, instead of just living in one.

But that’s not to say I’m done being a dreamer, just because I’ve all of a sudden got my mind back together. I don’t think I’ll ever lose that. It’s such a big part of me, to foresee every great outcome of my future, and discard all bad ones even before they take form. This is probably why I’m so ill prepared for most things that happen to me, given that this world rarely offers the perfect outcome. I think most people tend to make plans, and having some sort of back-up plan, should stuff go wrong.

I don’t even have a plan, I just have some vague dreams, not taking me anywhere.

If I should go somewhere, be it travel, be it ‘in life’… I just don’t know where. I’m still madly hooked on going to Paris, to have another expectation crushed. I’d love to get on with my ‘love life’, if I ever had one. And I do believe I’m about ready to continue school, well, university. Fancy. Philosophy, Greek.

If there is a better major than philosophy, do let me know. To me, it’s the perfect choice. I can spend a lot of time reading stuff I actually find interesting, and I can have either ALL possibilities or none afterwards. Depending on what I do with it. If I so please, I can get to teach philosophy, which is probably my true call.

Actually, I think it is. I’ve felt a slight hint of this ever since I first considered philosophy, but now I see it makes sense. There are so many things I would like to discuss, but people only ever listen to you if you have some fancy degree.

It’s Wednesday now.. I remember when I was younger and in school, I would lie awake at night, hoping the next day wouldn’t start if I never fell asleep. One of two things would normally happen, 1) I’d fall asleep and the next day would start when I woke up, 2) I’d stay awake, and live in denial the next day.

I watched Drive for the first time today (yesterday), and then again today (today). I don’t know why I never watched it before, but my oh my, it sure is a great movie. Ryan Gosling is such an amazing actor. He inspires me more than most other people. Whenever I act, I catch myself doing something I picked up from Gosling and I try to snap out of it, but it has just become a part of me.

Like Symmetry is starting to become part of me (the Johnny Jewel love). Themes For An Imaginary Film is taking me over. I can feel it pretty clearly. My mind is drifting from the writing to the music.

We don’t even know each other,
We only know of one another.
You, hardly of me.
Me, dreaming of you and me.

My problem in my English writings these days are the rhymes. I can’t stop trying to come up with them, even though I’m sick of it.

To hell with my imagination!
To hell with all that is loving, loved or love!
To hell with the injustice, but more so the justice that gives hope to the unfortunate!
To heavens with all that was once considered power, strength or weaponry!
For there is no place less likely for man to ever get.


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