I can’t stand looking at your name anymore. It tears me apart. All of a sudden, you just walked out of my life — just as sudden as when you came in.

Away… I can’t believe it.

You know how much of a dreamer I am. You know I believe in love, even when the outlook is ever so bleak. But now… this time. I don’t know. I find it increasingly difficult day by day. Perhaps it’s only for the best if you left my life for good. People have said I should get on with my life. Stop living in what-could-be and start living in what-is.

Maybe it really is a sign of trouble when you’d rather live the rest of your life in a state of make-believe. I’ve always just thought that world would be perfectly adequate. But who am I to teach life to the living, when I’m barely that myself. God, I’d just wish you wanted the same as me.

No need to come to me,
When I can make it all the way to you.

You made it clear,
You weren’t near.

Not near enough for me.

(The xx, “Heart Skipped a Beat”) Maybe it’s just because you’re my first true, true love. The only person to ever really inspire me. To ever really touch me without touching me. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

My only hope is that this is a temporary eternal.

Be it days, weeks, months, years.

I always thought we would have a movie-style romance. Don’t let me down.



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