Wish.

I’ve got a lot on my mind.

Most of it concerns my present state of love/non-love. It’s just hard to figure out. And yet, it seems so unexplainable simple when given thought.

Me and my girlfriend broke it off a month ago. She wouldn’t be home for most of the 12 months ahead of us, so instead of trying some long-distance stuff, we decided to end it. It was a good summer. Worst thing is, I’m not really sad.. I ended up realising, that I was more in love with the idea of having a girlfriend than I was actually in love with her. She’s still a good friend, I just found out, that it’s someone else I’m looking for.

If you’ve read this blog before, I’m almost certain you know who I’m really in love with.

She’s always there, in my thoughts. And I end up torturing myself over and over again by watching the movie that reminds me the most of her. (A lot like love).

Even though I fancy other girls, I don’t think I can love them. Not the way I should be able to in order to call any of them my girlfriend. There’s really only this one girl. And I wish

[…]we hit it off, become a thing or something.

(“A Lot Like Love”, Oliver) It would totally make my day. And the days ahead. She’s just like.. the coolest girl ever. And we totally get each other’s goofy jokes. And we both have a thing for dark music. Love the same bands. We’ve made the “if we reach 35, still single – we will marry”-agreement. I want to wake up, 35 and single tomorrow. Or talk her into getting together when we’re done with high school and can finally be close to each other. Either here, in Copenhagen or on a trip around the world.

All I know is, that my mind doesn’t produce anything on days like these when I miss her the most.

I just want her company. She’s the best.

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