Is that how I live my life?
Sometimes I wonder. I ask myself questions. Try to answer them. Fail to answer them. If I do in fact answer them, my answer is probably useless and has nothing to do with the real world. A song without lyrics – what does that even say? A song can be beautiful without having lyrics, the meaning is just a bit unclear. A song can be sung, though not consisting of lyrics at all. So what is a life, that’s like a song without lyrics? It’s a life that seems nice, that looks to be okay. A life admired by many people; he’s got brains, he must live a fantastic life; she’s sooo popular, she must live a fantastic life. To be honest, I’m group one: the brainy type (I do consider myself popular too, but that’s because of my kindness and irresistible humor – or so I believe it is). People tend to think that I should have everything going on. That I can carry all loads in the world at once. But there’s one thing I really can’t make out just how to do: get myself a girlfriend (heck, I’d have better luck finding my feminine side and try to score guys instead).
How in the world do people do that? I think of myself as having good enough looks, better than most of the guys I see running around with a girl in their hand. I get a lot of eye-contact with girls too – but how in the world do people make that first move? My first move always leads a path straight into friendship. And if I finally find the guts to neeaarly mention my feelings for this girl, she’s already moved on; found some other guy. That makes me feel as if my chances are ruined. Why don’t I just tell the girl how I feel? Screw that other guy she’s found – it ought to be my turn; get back in line, mister! (I’m hereby going to live like that! … starting Monday.)
Because of the above, it’s tiring to hear people telling me how great a life I have; how much they would love to own my brains; how glad they’d be to walk around as me. NO, you wouldn’t want that. It’s a living hell (probably not worse than most other lives, but tough enough for me). – and don’t get me wrong (!), I love to be me. I’ve got potential. I’d just love to have a clue about things once in a while.
So, I consider myself a song without lyrics. I’ve got all the surroundings – I just need that sweet, sweet love story in between, telling the tale of how a young man ended up with the love of his life.
I sincerely hope the writer hasn’t called in sick, when the tale is to be written.
I’ll just be another beautiful song with no real meaning to it.